BEST AND WORST CARS FOR THAT MID LIFE CRISIS.
Yes, that means you baldy.
MID LIFE CRISIS SADDOS.
What on earth possesses a middle aged balding man with a beer-gut to feel the need to drive circuits of the town in an ageing
(un-badged) BMW 318 poverty-spec convertible, usually sporting a crap personalised number-plate to hide its age? Taking the
badges off will fool no-one. With one tiny exhaust pipe and tyres like doughnuts even pensioners and toddlers will be laughing at you.
Worse than that even is the same type of bloke in a woman's convertible eg. Peugeot CC, Mini, Megane etc. Complete with
purple shopping channel sunglasses and James Blunt playing on his stereo. I'm afraid you don't look how you think.
It's sad beyond belief. No wonder your kid says "don't pick me up from school Dad, I'll walk the 12 miles I, er, need the exercise"
Worst cars for middle aged men....
1) Anything French 2) MG TF 3) KA 4) BMW 318 5) MX5 6) Audi TT 7) Merc SLK
The, er, better ones...
The first step is accepting that you are always going to look like a
bellend but it can be minimised with the right choice of vehicle.
Once you have taken this on board you can look forward to
some happy motoring, happy with your bellend status.
Many middle aged men who wish to hide their shame behind a visor go
for a turbo-nutter bike option, but for the ones that like their
limbs
and internal organs complete, operational and more importantly
still attached, cars are always a healthier option.
The Bellend rating system: 1 to 10 in units of how much a bellend
you look in the eyes of onlookers.
10 is an advanced state of Bellend-dom while 1 is only mildly stupid-looking.
Porsche Boxster: Predictable choice. Bellend rating 8. (10 with top down)
BMW Z4: A bit girly. Bellend rating 7. (9 with top down)
BMW M3: Ok if not convertible. Coupe 4 Convertible with top down 9. In yellow 10.5.
Cateram 7: Hard core. Manly. Bellend rating 2.
Mitsubishi Evo Be worshipped by Chavs everywhere. Bellend rating 4.
Subaru Impeza Be worshipped by more Chavs. Bellend rating 5. (8 with rally stickers)!!
TVR (Any) Doesn't count because it won't start.
Lotus Elise/Exige Hard core, but predictable choice. Bellend rating 3. (8 with top down).
Mini Cooper S Just threw that one in to see if you're paying attention.
(Based on standard male of 45 with thinning hair, no moustache, small beer-gut and dressed by Millets/Burtons/Wife/Xmas presents).
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Peugeot CC Owners Club.... I think I've made my point.
