| If you are struggling to fit 16 inch alloys under your Saxo,
spare a thought for this guy who has managed to get his American shitbox on
to 24's! God only knows what problems he must have faced with the
steering and suspension as well as somehow finding room to even turn those
under the car. This combined with the drive ratio problems and speedo error
must have needed some hard-core bodging to make it work. Well done! |
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| If you can't afford a Ford GT at 120K then you can make your
own with a clapped out Escort and a tin of Dulux Vinyl Gloss. Cost £4.20
(includes car). |
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| We don't usually do motorbikes but this contribution from
Dr Japseye has to be included. Here we have a scooter where someone has
taken a plastic horse, sawn it in half and nailed it on either end! And how
would this be complete without a plastic butterfly? (This is probably to aid
airflow over the horse's arse at high speed). |
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| Fast and Furious? Don't think so. This car looks like it's
cost upwards of 20K to modify. He could have bought a decent performance car
and still had some cash left over for a brain transplant. |
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| An entire car made from body filler and chicken wire. A
tribute to David's Isopon. |
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| Some bloke thinks he looks cool in this box of utter poo. |
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| Thanks to Dr Japseye for this beautiful American barge with
a 3 tonne plastic crustacean nailed to the roof. My colleague Dr Bellend
likes this so much he's having a Bellend made for the top of his Maestro
Clubman Diesel. He's just finishing the wind-resistance calculations and
risk assessment. |
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| This low-spec Honda was once a good shopping car. Value
before modification. £1800
Value after modification. £500
Is that your Granny's car, boy? |
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| This once proud car was probably driven by a
printer-cartridge salesman as he cruised around our motorways.
Unfortunately it now lives out its twilight years owned by some single-celled life form
and living in the less salubrious end of Shit Street, CW1. |
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| They didn't film Smoky and the Bandit in England for a good
reason. American cars just don't work here, and neither do cowboy hats (yes,
you were spotted). Just what you need for the wide open plains and merciless
sun of Rochdale. And what on earth possessed you to bolt that ridiculous
wing on the back and paint it with pink glitter? A truly sad man. |
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| Nice to see we've not got the monopoly on bad taste. This
was photographed in Monterey California by our roving American Shit-Box
spotter, Dr Japseye. |
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| This looks like a Hyundai Effluent or Kia Sirloin or
something.
Even though the tyres are 2 inches wide and the exhaust is the diameter of a
Biro this chap has decided to fit a rear wing the size of a small canal
bridge. Surely this is some kind of ironic statement, it couldn't possibly
be serious, could it? Did you notice the mirrored number-plate border to
deflect Gatso flashes? I don't think he needs it, he's already got the
perfect anti-speed camera device - an 8 BHP engine.
|
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| Someone else who obviously burgled Halfords.... |
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| Vectras are difficult to make worse but this chap has
managed with 3 fake exhaust pipes and a chicken-wire rear grille. |
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| Escort RS 1100. Nice luggage rack young man. |
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| What's cheap, French, plastic, slow, and with more exhausts
and wing surface area than a 737? |
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| A more poverty-stricken version of the car above. |
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| (International) shit-box of the week. Sent from some manly
friends on a fishing holiday in Colorado. (Brokeback Mountain springs to
mind). This is truly a world-class piece of
shit. |
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| This snot-green effort started life as an Astra (possibly).
Obviously built by someone on drugs it has a rip-off Evo spoiler and
dreadful spinners on the wheels. The front grille looks like it belongs in
an electric fire. Any normal person would be ashamed to drive this. |
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| A yellow, er... thing, again with the inevitable Evo
spoiler. Evo spoilers only look good with an Evo
bolted to the bottom. |
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| Take one utter turd of a car. Bolt a stupid looking wing to the back.
Result - a winged turd. |
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| This 'extreme' 1.4 hatchback has flames painted up the
bonnet. If he had owned a Triumph TR7 like mine he could have had real
flames up the bonnet. |
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| The Volvo. Not normally associated with the boy-racer fraternity, more
often the hat-wearing, caravan-towing twat. Luckily for people who can't see
that it's a Volvo, the owner has thoughtfully provided a sun-strip with 'Volvo'
on it. That's handy then. This chap obviously likes his wallowy,
torque-steering barge though, and he's parked in a disabled bay so some poor
old coffin-dodger has to walk miles to the shops. Nice kinda guy. |
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| A rare sight indeed. The Rover 414Li "Evolution II".
Was this a secret Rover project? |
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| Another day another Vauxhall. Halfords had a good week that
week. |
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| Somewhere under that lot is a Vauxhall Calibra. It's cost a
few quid to ruin this. |
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| This is what could happen to your beloved pride and joy after
you sell it. I think Mercedes would pay to have this crushed. |
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| Not modified, just a shitbox.. Uglier than John Prescot.
Someone really drives this. |
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